im so sad tonight, so drained, i dont know wether to stay or go. im so tired but i cant sleep. cant stop crying and even after cutting i feel no different just more scars that ill later hate myself more for, its a vicious horrible cycle. im disgusting. i wasnt enough for you, you wanted more. you always have. why are you even with me? even if you did love me like you say itd never be any good because ill ruin you, i ruin everything.

i dont care what it takes anymore, im so sick of being fat. im disgusting and ugly and i’m so sick of seeing it everytime i look in the mirror. its so revolting. i know im smaller than alot of people but i feel so huge and weird with my body. ive dieted for over 2 weeks now, forced myself to eat barely anything and theres been no change i just seem to be growing, i hate what i see in the mirror and if eating isnt going to change that then ill just stop. i hate wanting to eat.. im so fucking drained and tired, what did i do to deserve this?